Паранормальне ТБ

Денний ефір. “5 Телеканал”. Телепередача “Зверни увагу з Тетяною Рамус“.

Цитата із анонсу вмісту телепрограми:

“Телеглядачі задають різні питання – від ‘як найкраще використати сон?’ до ‘що робити з рейдерами?'”

Я так і уявляю якогось фіндиректора або corporate CEO, який відклавши вбік “Forbes” та “Finantial Times”, з нетерпінням дочікується
розгляду кейсу “подолання проблем пов’язаних з можливістю/наявністю рейдерської атаки на підприємство” у телепередачі для домогосподарок.

Криза б’є по всьому, не шкодує і мізки керівників телеефіру.

Joke about paint job (and a blonde)

Jennifer, the blonde was getting desperate for money. She decided to go to her neighbourhood and look for some simple jobs as a handy woman. She knocked on the door of a house, a man answered and told her, “Yes, I think I have a job for you. Do you think you can paint the porch?”

“Sure, of course I can,” said Jennifer obviously overjoyed.

“That’s great, how much do you want me to pay you?” asked the man.

“Is fifty bucks all right?” Jennifer asked.

“Yes, no problem at all. Please find the paint, the paint brush and all the equipment you might need in the garage.”

The man went back into his house. His wife had been listening, and immediately she asked “Fifty bucks! That’s a good deal, but does she know the porch goes all the way around the house?”

“Well, she must, she was standing right on it!” her husband replied happily.

About 30 minutes later, Jennifer knocked on the door. “I’m all finished,” she told the surprised homeowner. The man was amazed at her speed!

“You painted the whole porch?” He needed to confirm it apparently.

“Yeah, I even had some paint left, so I put on two coats!” Jennifer replied.

The man reached into his wallet to pay Jennifer when she exclaimed “Oh, by the way, that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”

Blonde Joke (Nah, You’ve seen that coming!)

A plane is on its way to New York when a pretty blonde in economy class gets up and moves into an open seat in the first class section.

The stewardess notices this, and politely informs the blonde that she must go back to the economy class because that’s the type of ticket she has bought.

The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to New York and I’m staying right here!”

After repeated attempts and no success at convincing the blonde to move, the stewardess goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-piolet that there’s a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her economy seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and explains that she needs to move, but once again the blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beatiful, I’m going to New York and I’m staying right here.”

The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land.

The pilot says, “You say she’s blonde? I’ll handle this. I’m married to a blonde. I speak blonde.” He goes back to the blonde and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, “Oh, I’m sorry,” then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.

The stewardess and co-pilot are really amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.

“I told her first class isn’t going to New York.”