If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker
it is slick to stick a lock upon your stock
or some joker who is slicker
is going to trick you of your liquor
if you fail to lock your liquor with a lock.
Із книги Дена Кеннеді «The Ultimate Marketing Plan».
Будет корисним не лише рекламістам, а й пиарщикам, що кожне чхання своего директора передають в прес-релізі не інакше, як виверження вулкану.
A lion met a tiger
As they drank beside a pool
Said the tiger, «tell me why…
You’re roaring like a fool»
«That’s not foolish» said the lion,
With a twinkle in his eyes,
«They call me king of all the beasts
Because I advertise!»
A rabbit heard them talking,
And ran home like a streak.
He thought he’d try the lion’s plan,
But his roar was just a squeak.
A fox, who happened on the scene,
Had a fine lunch in the woods.
The Moral? When you advertise,
Just be sure you’ve got the goods.
If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world. After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he’d prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud.
Try them yourself!
Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)