questionable topic – uneasy matters since 2008

Kazakhstan National Anthem – Borat-style!

Posted in joke by questionabletopic on Wednesday, April 30, 2008

(Please stand for anthem)

Kazakhstan greatest country in the world.
All other countries are run by little girls.
Kazakhstan number one exporter of potassium.
Other countries have inferior potassium.

Kazakhstan home of Tinshein swimming pool.
Its length thirty meter and width six meter.
Filtration system a marvel to behold.
It remove 80 percent of human solid waste.

Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan you very nice place.
From Plains of Tarashek to Northern fence of Jewtown.
Kazakhstan friend of all except Uzbekistan(assholes).
They very nosey people with bone in their brain.

Kazakhstan industry best the world.
We invented toffee and trouser belt.
Kazakhstan’s prostitutes cleanest in the region.
Except of course Turkmenistan’s

Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan you very nice place.
From Plains of Tarashek to Northern fence of Jewtown.
Come grasp the might penis of our leader.
From junction with the testes to tip of its face!

Advertisements
Tagged with: , ,

Cynical life observations

Posted in amazing, joke, opinions, quotations by questionabletopic on Wednesday, April 30, 2008

When I was born, I got a choice – A big d*ck or a good memory. I am not able to remember, what I chose.

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

Impotence is the nature’s way of saying “No hard feelings”.

There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men – “don’t” and “stop”, unless they are used together.

Panties are not the best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth.

There are three stages to sex in a person’s life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

Virginity is not dignity, it’s lack of opportunity.

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.

I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.

Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

Have you heard about Viagra computer virus? It turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.

A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and She was happy with the Thing.

Despite the old saying, “Don’t bring your troubles to bed”, many men still sleep with their wives!

звідси: http://www.funnycoolstuff.com/

Cockney vocabulary

Posted in anthropology, language by questionabletopic on Wednesday, April 30, 2008

new British slang:

barmy (crazy)
coo! (wow!)
bloomin’
blimey
cor blimey
bloody ‘ell
‘ello guvna.
Wot’s all this then?
mate
luv
dear/y
bloke (fellow)
treackle (doll)
cheeky (smart mouth)
silent h, r, or t th=f, as in anyfing (anything)
nito (bollocks) (south London term)
arry (skunk)
oates (cocaine)

Tagged with: , ,

Tricky contraceptives

Posted in joke, story by questionabletopic on Wednesday, April 30, 2008

A young man goes into a pharmacy to buy condoms.
The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which one the young man wants.

The young man thinks for a while and replied “Well, I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight is “the” night. We’re having dinner with her parents, and then we’re going out. And I’ve got a feeling I’m gonna get lucky after that. Once she’s had me, she’ll want me all the time, so you’d better give me the 12 pack.”

The young man makes his purchase and leaves happily.

Later that evening, he sits down and have dinner with his girlfriend and her parents.

He asks if he might give the blessing and they agree.

He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.

The girl leans over to him and says, “You never told me that you were such a religious person.”

The boy leans over to her and whispers, “You never told me that your father is a pharmacist.”

20 Tips for More Efficient Google Searches

Posted in internet, lifehack, manual by questionabletopic on Wednesday, April 30, 2008

For millions of people, Google is an indispensable search tool that they use every day, in all facets of their lives. From work or school, research, to looking up movies and celebrities to news and gossip, Google is the go-to search engine.

But instead of just typing in a phrase and wading through page after page of results, there are a number of ways to make your searches more efficient.

Some of these are obvious ones, that you probably know about. But others are lesser-known, and others are known but not often used. Use this guide to learn more about, or be reminded of, some of the best ways to get exactly what you’re looking for, and quickly.
Either/or. Google normally searches for pages that contain all the words you type in the search box, but if you want pages that have one term or another (or both), use the OR operator — or use the “|” symbol (pipe symbol) to save you a keystroke. [dumb | little | man]

Quotes. If you want to search for an exact phrase, use quotes. [“dumb little man”] will only find that exact phrase. [dumb “little man”] will find pages that contain the word dumb and the exact phrase “little man”.

Not. If you don’t want a term or phrase, use the “-” symbol. [-dumb little man] will return pages that contain “little” and “man” but that don’t contain “dumb”.

Similar terms
. Use the “~” symbol to return similar terms. [~dumb little man -dumb] will get you pages that contain “funny little man” and “stupid little man” but not “dumb little man”.

Wildcard. The “*” symbol is a wildcard. This is useful if you’re trying to find the lyrics to a song, but can’t remember the exact lyrics. [can’t * me love lyrics] will return the Beatles song you’re looking for. It’s also useful for finding stuff only in certain domains, such as
educational information: [“dumb little man” research *.edu].

Advanced search. If you can’t remember any of these operators, you can always use Google’s advanced search.

(more…)

Demotivational poster – Silence

Posted in joke, prints by questionabletopic on Wednesday, April 30, 2008

that makes my blog what, helium?!?

i wish i was a baller less verbose..

Cartoon rating guide for smart adults v2.0

Posted in amazing, culture, entertainment, films & animation, opinions by questionabletopic on Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Why watch cartoons if you’re an adult? Because cartoons have the best scores, most interesting plots and/or most humorous dialogue, and the best “cinematography” of any visual media. The best are stunning works of art and imagination.

This is a rating guide, not a review book — hit up Google & Wikipedia, then Amazon and IMDB forums for extended analysis. Its purpose is to quickly alert you to animation you may never have heard of. It is also skewed from the perspective of an adult animation fan — a lowly-rated show may be immensely enjoyable for small children and even competently-made, but was of little interest to me; a highly-rated show will be competently-made, and may or may not be enjoyable for or even marketed to small children. Lastly, if a show has English-language versions, those are the versions I have likely watched (and I appreciate good dubbing and loathe bad dubbing).

This list covers mainly animated television series, although many films are included. I have not seen every episode of some shows rated 7 and lower and many episodes of shows rated 5 or lower; indicated ratings may change if I see new episodes of better or worse quality than those previous, or if many better or worse episodes of other shows alter the landscape.

(more…)

Tagged with: , , , , ,

Коротко про життєві досягнення – дзен-style

Posted in lifehack, quotations, self improvement by questionabletopic on Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Даже самая длинная дорога начинается с первого “нахуй”.

Tagged with: , ,

Demotivational poster – Barak Obama

Posted in conspiracy, politics, prominent persons, Uncategorized by questionabletopic on Wednesday, April 30, 2008

My 2 cents (more like 1 cent, considering exchange rate) on President Elections ’08:

barak-obama

Якби мав право голосу – Осама, Обама – віддав би лише за Тебе!

(Americans are gonna be screwed all over again – next people’s (almost) president).

Land of unwanted presidents, home of the fake election!

Release type guide

Posted in internet, lifehack by questionabletopic on Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Rip types

CAM
A cam is a theater rip usually done with a digital video camera. A mini tripod is sometimes used, but a lot of the time this wont be possible, so the camera make shake. Also seating placement isn’t always idle, and it might be filmed from an angle. If cropped properly, this is hard to tell unless there’s text on the screen, but a lot of times these are left with triangular borders on the top and bottom of the screen. Sound is taken from the onboard microphone of the camera, and especially in comedies, laughter can often be heard during the film. Due to these factors picture and sound quality are usually quite poor, but sometimes we’re lucky, and the theater will be’ fairly empty and a fairly clear signal will be heard.

TELESYNC (TS)
A telesync is the same spec as a CAM except it uses an external audio source (most likely an audio jack in the chair for hard of hearing people). A direct audio source does not ensure a good quality audio source, as a lot of background noise can interfere. A lot of the times a telesync is filmed in an empty cinema or from the projection booth with a professional camera, giving a better picture quality. Quality ranges drastically, check the sample before downloading the full release. A high percentage of Telesyncs are CAMs that have been mislabeled.

TELECINE (TC)
A telecine machine copies the film digitally from the reels. Sound and picture should be very good, but due to the equipment involved and cost telecines are fairly uncommon. Generally the film will be in correct aspect ratio, although 4:3 telecines have existed. A great example is the JURASSIC PARK 3 TC done last year. TC should not be confused with TimeCode , which is a visible counter on screen throughout the film.
(more…)

Demotivational Poster – Suicide

Posted in prints by questionabletopic on Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Several witches, some Swatch watches

Posted in amazing, joke, language by questionabletopic on Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Первый урок, английский для начинающих:
“Три ведьмы разглядывают трое часов “Свотч”. Какая из ведьм разглядывает какие часы?”
Теперь по английски!
Three witches watch three swatch watches. Which witch watches which swatch watch?

Второй урок, английский для продвинутых учеников:
“Три ведьмы-трансвеститки разглядывают три кнопочки на часах “Свотч”. Какая из ведьм-трансвеститок разглядывает какую кнопочку на часах “Свотч”?”
Теперь по английски!
Three switched witches watch three Swatch watch switches. Which switched witch watches which Swatch watch switch?

Третий и последний урок, английский для абсолютных профессионалов:
“Три швейцарских ведьмы-сучки, желающих изменить свой пол, разглядывают три кнопочки на часах “Свотч”. Какая из швейцарских ведьм-сучек, желающих изменить свой пол,разглядывает какую кнопочку на часах “Свотч”?”
Теперь по английски!
Three swiss witch-bitches, which wished to be switched swiss witch-bitches, watch three swiss Swatch watch switches. Which swiss witch-bitch, which wishes to be a switched swiss witch-bitch, wishes to watch which swiss Swatch watch switch?

звідси: http://agent-cuper.livejournal.com/

20 tricks to nuke a bad habit

Posted in health, lifehack, manual, motivation, self improvement by questionabletopic on Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Порушення мотто №2: пост про самовдосконалення.

  1. Commit for a Month. Thirty days is all you need to make a habit change permanent. Less time than that and the new alternative might not be hardwired into your brain. More time and any failures to last are usually a failure of strategy, not duration.
  2. Replace What You Lose. Your habits fulfill needs. When you suddenly cause a change, you may inadvertently cut them out. Before you make a change, write down all the benefits you currently get from your bad habit and make sure they are retained going into the new habit.
  3. Start Small . Changing habits isn’’t a matter of willpower, but patience and strategy. Don’’t expect to overhaul your diet, exercise or thinking patterns in a day. Tackle one habit at a time.
  4. Know the Benefits. Get clear in your mind what the benefits are of making a change. If making a change rationally seems good but it doesn’’t feel good, it won’’t stick. Emotions have more power than many of us realize.
  5. Write it Down . Winston Churchill once said, ““Plans are useless, planning is invaluable.”” Writing out any commitments you make will give you clarity both to what you desire and how you intend to do it.
  6. (more…)

Blonde Joke (Nah, You’ve seen that coming!)

Posted in joke by questionabletopic on Tuesday, April 29, 2008

A plane is on its way to New York when a pretty blonde in economy class gets up and moves into an open seat in the first class section.

The stewardess notices this, and politely informs the blonde that she must go back to the economy class because that’s the type of ticket she has bought.

The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to New York and I’m staying right here!”

After repeated attempts and no success at convincing the blonde to move, the stewardess goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-piolet that there’s a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her economy seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and explains that she needs to move, but once again the blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beatiful, I’m going to New York and I’m staying right here.”

The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land.

The pilot says, “You say she’s blonde? I’ll handle this. I’m married to a blonde. I speak blonde.” He goes back to the blonde and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, “Oh, I’m sorry,” then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.

The stewardess and co-pilot are really amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.

“I told her first class isn’t going to New York.”

The Wealthiest Americans Ever – The New York Times article

Posted in facts, industry, price, prominent persons by questionabletopic on Monday, April 28, 2008

В New York Times переглянув статтю щодо найбагатших американців. Вразило.
Якщо б в такій формі подавалась історія в наших школах – розклад по преміях в Стокгольмі був би в нашу користь.. А так – просто насолоджуємось чудовим зразком інфографіки:

The Wealthiest Americans Ever

(NB! потрібен Flash та Java)