Cynical life observations
When I was born, I got a choice – A big d*ck or a good memory. I am not able to remember, what I chose.
Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
Impotence is the nature’s way of saying “No hard feelings”.
There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men – “don’t” and “stop”, unless they are used together.
Panties are not the best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth.
There are three stages to sex in a person’s life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
Virginity is not dignity, it’s lack of opportunity.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.
Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
Have you heard about Viagra computer virus? It turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.
A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and She was happy with the Thing.
Despite the old saying, “Don’t bring your troubles to bed”, many men still sleep with their wives!